Posted the story last night on fanfiction.net at midnight. Traffic in the last 16 hours has been fairly brisk, with over 100 unique readers and about 5-6 reviews. Gratifying that there's an audience for this sort of thing.
Also, the story was submitted to EvaFics.org. Their policy is to screen out fiction carefully, to get better quality pieces. So I've submitted the prologue and hopefully I'll hear back from them within a week if it's OK to post the rest.
I may make one final change to the story and add more backstory to Patrick and Vance. It would be done as a flashback while Patrick is visiting Shinji in his apartment. This is mostly in preparation for story #2, and there will be a story #2. I don't think I'll have it ready until the end of the month, however, which is about the same time as the FanArt commission will be ready.